didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
