Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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