omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
