My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
