Your face is a jimmy john
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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