You're so nebulous sometimes
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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