Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
