After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
