your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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