is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
