Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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