Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
