I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
