I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
