Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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