remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
