That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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