he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
