So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Your penis caused this!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
