He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
