a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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