how can u be prego again
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
