You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
