Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
