my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
