think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
