Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
