Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
