I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
