What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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