i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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