just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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