It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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