OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
