She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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