Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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