The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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