i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
