I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You are a genius and a whore.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
