im six kinds of drunk right now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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