you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
