I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
