no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
