i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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