dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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