I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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