Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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