How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
