Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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