you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
