Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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