I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
