My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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