whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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